Sometimes it’s hard to love and hard to forgive. When we are hurting and bleeding pain, often times our eyes are closed to the good that remains in the other person. Our hearts shut and boarded up, and even our minds refuse to render up the good deeds once done.
Sometimes it’s hard to love and even harder to forgive, but we have done things we deeply regret, things that the memory of it sickens us, times when we behaved in ways impossible to be proud of and times our actions obliterated who we know ourselves to be. In these moments where we have wronged we see every reason we should be forgiven. We hold onto hope that the other person can see how truly sorry we are. However, only we know the extent of our shame and guilt and regret……..when the other person forgave it’s not because they knew for a fact, without a shadow of a doubt how truly sorry you felt. Much in the same way you don’t know how remorseful another may feel.
The bible tells us to forgive 70 x 7 but what God is really asking of us is that we continually forgive others; to love. God loves us with all our flaws and he forgives us even after we have done the very same thing a 10000 times. As long as we confess our sins, the bible tells us he is faithful and just to forgive us and cleans us from all unrighteousness. There is nothing we can do for God to love us more, and that is so comforting to me. Knowing that just as I am God love for me is unconditional it makes me want to become a better person not so he can love me more but so that I can be worthy of such love. I know what it’s like to be regretful and I know I cannot read anybody’s mind, but I do know love never produce distasteful results. Love is like the ocean with a piece of broken glass. At first no changes can be seem, but as the waves and months roll on and the days turn into nights, a time comes when the sharp edges are rubbed smooth and that broken glass begins to resemble a gem. Some of us are like that piece of glass sharp and a present danger to all those close enough, we say hurtful things we don’t mean, our words can cause deep wounds, but much like the ocean, in God’s love we are transformed into gems. Our smooth surface makes it a delight to be near.
God is the source of all love, I can never spend enough time praying or worshiping him, basking in all the goodness his presence brings. When I find myself needing the strength to forgive I reflect on how many times he has forgiven me.